I've always wondered how someone can turn down something that seems so great. How could my dad turn down what seemed to be an amazing job? How could Dave Chappelle turn down $50 million? (I'm not trying to liken the decision my dad made to that of Dave, but these two examples came to mind).
I've always thought, "Well, if position A pays significantly more than position B, then it's a clear decision." However, understanding personal value is a bit more complex.
When I was about 14 years old, my Nigerian dad said I could NOT spend my summer playing video games. He said I needed to understand the value of hard work and all that good stuff. I did what most kids did and put up flyers in my neighborhood to cut grass. I charged $50 per lawn and an extra $10 or so if I had to bring my own mower. Despite competitors in the area taking down my posters (I witnessed it) I still had a pretty good gig and made about $500 a week. The second lawn I mowed was huge and as the home owner took me around to show me the work I needed to do, I realized that his yard was about 3 times the size of the average yard in the neighborhood. I was willing to do the yard for the quoted $50, but he said, "I know my yard is big, so how does $100 sound?" As my smile beamed from ear to ear, I muttered back, "That sounds ok." (Negotiating wasn't my strong point). If I had been prepared, I may have been able to get $150 or even $200 because the work requried was considerably more (dumping the grass clippings, picking up a lot more sticks and the occasionaly weeding). Where most lawns took about an hour, this one took 4 hours.
I remember my dad mentioned that I should consider finding more of the larger yards and make that my niche. That became my strategy eventually, but before that time I continued doing every house that contacted me. My dad sat me down one day and asked, "So what is your time worth?" I really had no answer, and spoke as I thought my humble Nigerian parents would have expected me to answer, "Well, if I'm able to make money through the labours of my hand, then that's what I'll do." My dad rolled his eyes and told me that I would have to set a specific amount because it would be unfortunate to miss out on a bigger appointment because I've committed to something else. This was also the first time I heard that time, not money, is the most valuable thing.
My dad mentioned that the significance of realizing my worth is so I can stay focused. He then threw a curve ball when he told me he turned down a job that paid more because of the time committment. He said the amount of money was no where near compelling for him to spend that little time with his family.
This concept has stayed with me since. I try to analyze as best as possible what my time is worth. I also examine my plans for the future constantly. While I still work a 9-5 (actually 8:30 - 5:30), I keep my entrepreneurial goals in mind, knowing that a higher paying job that is within my reach will give me less time to focus on pursuing my passion. To me, there is no realistic amount of money worth the trade off.
I think Tristan Walker's take on this is quite interesting. He says that there are 3 things that matter to him: faith; family; and passion. There are so many distractions and if you're only focused on money as a goal, then you miss out on the joys that money can add to your life. The radio personality, Charlamagne, said something so profound, "An empoverished mind equates everything to money... If money is what you find most valuable then it means everyone who has more money than you is better than you." I didn't do his quote justice, but it was one of the most profound things I've heard because it simplified something I struggled to understand for most of my life.
To understand your worth, you first need to understand what is most valuable to you. Many people want a bunch of money so they can spend time doing what they want to do (Freedom), but getting that money can easily become the goal instead of the means. Understanding what is most important in your life is a significant step in making sure you a.) don't do too much to miss out on those significant opportunities or b.) don't make money the goal. It's important to understand what you want out of life and make money work for you and not the other way around (cliche, I know, but true).
I don't fully understand what Dave Chappelle's mindset was at that time, but I tend to live my life trying to reach that point of clarity where I too could make the choice to walk away from $50 million if it isn't in line with my priorities and doesn't value my time and my life the way I have valued it.